Tossed, but not yet sunk.

Hey all…

So here’s an update on the past month or so of being treated for Lyme.

***It’s not the most positive blog post that I’ve written. But it’s the truth.

I was really excited about feeling a lot better when I started the treatment at the end of January. However, I wasn’t ready for things to get worse before the got better.

I have read a lot of places that the bad days come more frequently than the good days. And I have found that to be very true. I started to feel, almost, worse once starting the Lyme protocol. So, we went back to my LLMD and we started a Babesia protocol of antibiotics. I just finished that 14 day treatment and am back on the Lyme protocol of antibiotics. I feel no different, and am not exactly happy at this point.

seatlle
Went to Seattle in February! Despite the pain, I will forever love this rainy city!

Sometimes my bad days are because I over did it on my good days, sometimes they are just bad days, and other days bad days are because of Herx reaction. Click here to find out what a Herx reaction if you do not know. Bad days are like having the flu, feeling like your arms and legs weigh 20 pounds each, having about 35-40% energy, and feeling so out of shape that walking up a flight of stairs is like running up hill for 5 miles. I’m not saying bad days are impossible, but they are pretty damn difficult.

Good days give me about 60-70% energy, my generalized body pain subsides enough for me to be able to ignore it, and walking up a flight up stairs just leaves my legs tired. Good days are a blessing and it’s even better when I get 2 or 3 of them in a row!

There is a little update on how I am feeling physically. Here begins the mental journey.

1walk
My team for the JDRF OneWalk at MOA in Minnesota! Thanks LLM for outfitting our team with your gear! I was so blessed to have had enough energy to walk for one hour with them.

I often feel defeated and hopeless. I hate asking people for help, so most of the time, I take something on that I know I may not be able to complete, but it’s the mental thought of trying that makes me stronger. I try and stay positive and strong because showing weakness emotionally makes me feel like I’m giving into this disease. And let me tell you, there is absolutely NO WAY that I am going to lose. My determination to stay strong and win wavers sometimes, but isn’t everybody allowed a few of those helpless days?

Some days I am sad. I know that I don’t need a lot of friends, or that having a social life is the least of my worries right now,  but I am also a senior in high school. I feel like I have been robbed of my life recently. Which totally, absolutely sucks. However, I know that there are a few people in my life that will be there always, and will always know how to make me smile, and for that I am forever grateful.

The past month has been a battle of trying to understand WHY ME, and WHY NOW. But, knowing that I am dealing with this instead of my best friend, or a little kid, or my big brother, makes understanding this whole thing a little easier.

hockey
I lucked out with 2 good days, and a third okay day, that I was able to spend at the Xcel Energy Center supporting my high school hockey team at the State Tournament!

Life sucks sometimes, but we need to pick each other up, learn to accept people as they are, whether that’s how the rest of their life is going to be or not. As people in a world of evil and hate, lets learn to accept love and to give love.

Every day that I find the energy and drive to get out of bed, put clothes on, put makeup on and eat breakfast, is one day closer to living a life without Lyme.

Someday, I want to live, not just survive.

Xoxo,

Elise Hendrickson

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3 thoughts on “Tossed, but not yet sunk.

    1. Hi Elise – I can totally relate to your story. While I was diagnosed with RA and was in my late twenties, it really hit hard and took a long time to get control of. I think one of the hardest things to deal with is being in pain and feeling so lethargic when you look totally normal on the outside. People just have no idea what you’re dealing with. I imagine this is especially hard to deal with at your age. But as you know, better days are to come! You’ve got a great attitude, supportive family and friends and awesome medical care. There’s no stopping you – just some temporary speed bumps!

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      1. Shelly, thank you for your comment! It means a lot to know that I am not the only one that feels defeated at times! Thank you for your encouraging and reassuring words. I hope that all is well with you now!

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